He loved the Lord and walked in his ways. He was so devoted to serving the Lord and his people that when God asked him to make any wish, he didn’t ask for riches or long life. Instead, Solomon asked for wisdom from God to discern and lead his great people.
Yet, we all know the tragic end. What seemed like a burning love cooled into idolatry. How did Solomon go from such devotion to turning his back on the One who gave him so much?
We are told in 1 Kings 11:1, “Now King Solomon loved many foreign women.” These women were from nations the Lord had forbidden his people to intermarry because they followed other gods. The command had nothing to do with ethnicity or race, but on worship. God’s requirement regarding marriage for believers is to find someone who loves and serves the Lord.
Temptation to Fall Away
In the New Testament, the Lord tells us not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14). While this may apply in other areas, it certainly includes the most intimate of human relationships.
When we join together with a person in marriage, we become “one flesh.” If we join together with someone who doesn’t love and serve the same God as us, then we are putting ourselves in great danger and temptation to follow their gods (or no god). Solomon was devoted to God and loved him (1 Kings 3:3), but Scripture tells us explicitly that “when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods” (11:4).
Therefore, God commands us to be equally yoked. I often hear young people excuse disobedience to this command by pointing out someone who married an unbeliever, then eventually led the unbeliever to the Lord. There are certainly stories where the Lord was gracious to those in sinful situations, but this doesn’t allow us to sin so that his grace may abound.
That would be like hearing a testimony of how God saved someone out of a life of violence and drugs, then deciding to live that same sort of life “because it worked out for them.” For every unequally yoked marriage with a good ending, there are many stories of untold heartache and hurt that has come from disobeying God’s commands.
Different Worldviews
Not only does marriage to an unbeliever tempt you to fall away from the Lord, it also creates difficulty in the many decisions you will make as a couple. For a believer, their whole worldview is to live for the glory of God and make disciples. This affects how you handle conflict, money, raise your children…everything!
However, an unbeliever doesn’t share this foundational worldview. They handle money or raise kids for completely different reasons. Think of how much conflict this will create as you make most of your life decisions. When you begin a marriage on completely different foundations, someone will have to compromise their basic beliefs on every decisions that is made. This will likely lead to burn-out, bitterness, or passive compromise. Or, one person will completely abandoned their foundational worldview/beliefs.
Blessed Union
Marriage is a blessed union meant to illustrate Christ and the church. Scripture highlights the beauty of marriage:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:31-33).
This beautiful mystery of two people becoming one, intertwining their lives for the glory of God, displays the gospel. Two naturally selfish people, by the Spirit’s power, no longer live for themselves alone but for one another and for the Lord.
If one of them is not a believer, they will not have that foundation and they will not have the assistance of the Holy Spirit. Like building a house on two separate foundations, an unequally yoked marriage will lead to cracks and dissension.
Wait For the Lord
Don’t settle for the first person who shows interest. Find a godly man or woman that you can build a life and family with on the same solid foundation of Christ. Good looks will fade with time, gravity takes its toll on fleeting beauty, but faith and godly character can grow deeper as two people commit their lives to the Lord and one another.
